The Bottom Is So Much Better Than The Top! SO MUCH BETTA!

I may have mentioned this girl once or twice in the past.



But tomorrow, Tuesday January 30 2007, is the official beginning of the reign of LILY MOTHERFUCKING ALLEN.

Her US debut album drops tomorrow, so head on over to your nearest independent fine-record dealer and procure yourself a copy of Alright, Still IMMEDIATELY.

Even though you've already downloaded the whole thing, like I said before.

Lily Allen = THE HUGENESS for 2007.

And, for the STILL uninitiated...

This single PWNED the UK pop charts this summer, and was the first single that I heard.

"Smile"


This next one is one of the album's absolute gems, and is definitely one of my bonafide favorite songs of hers. Please note the trademark Lily steez = vintage frock dress and retro Nike trainers.

"LDN"


Aaaand then there's this song, which I absolutely fell in love with, mainly because of something called the "objective correlative". Word to Eliot, even though I'm probably butchering whatever the hell he meant by it. The noir-esque feel is fab.

"Littlest Things"


Wanna know how to get street cred? Become a faux-chav Londonite chick that can kind of rap and co-opt America's favorite rapper to get shot 9 times and still remain alive. But instead of flowing about gangster shit, sing about your grandma. This didn't make it onto the UK version of the album - I honestly hope the US version gets it, because otherwise most US listeners won't experience this track's awesomeness.

"Nan You're a Window Shopper"


Another drop-dead-gorgeous cut from Alright, Still. It's like the best Disneyland-themeland song that never quite made the cut onto the Adventureland speakers. Pardon the shitty audio (this is live from the Troub in L.A.), but it's all the more reason to buy the album, folks.

"Alfie"



Now, I could honestly go on all day - but you owe it to yourself to check out the album first, and then do your damndest to get to one of her shows.

I'll leave you with just one final video - a live performance from San Francisco's Popscene. On her VERY FIRST U.S. tour, Lily Allen stopped through four cities - New York, Chicago, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. NY and LA sold out WEEKS in advance, with every hipster, indie, and blogger on the planet in attendance. Chicago sold out as well. SF was unique in that NO advance tickets were being sold. First come, first serve.

I arrived at Popscene at 4:30PM. Door were at 9PM. NINE PEE-EHM. I'll let you figure the math on that one, but I'll help you out - I was third in line.

Around 8PM, some chick in a lurid houndstooth overcoat walks out from a truck and proceeds to smoke. She glances casually at the queue, which has now wrapped around the end of the block.

"Oh my god! Look at the line!"

It's Lily Allen, and she is in seeming disbelief at the hundreds of people who have waited in line in a suspect back alley in San Francisco outside a club that has no name, no sign, and otherwise no indication that it will be playing host to 2007's biggest star.

The doors open, and aside from a little bit of an international identification debacle (I'm looking at you, Zoe), we cram in comfortably to the front - I'm less than 2 feet away from the stage, behind some idiot with a straw fedora.

Standing shoulder to shoulder with people who, I can only assume, have too much free time to look for new music like I do, you can feel a tangible pulse buzzing through the crowd. I couldn't quite pinpoint it at the time, but looking back at it, it wasn't because we were here for indie cred, checking the next big thing in music, trying to see whether or not she would live up to the hype.

The pulse, the vibe, the buzz of an audience that hasn't grown restless but instead impossibly eager, continued to throb and vibrate and spark until the lights dimmed.

And then this happened...



Have you ever been surrounded by 200 strangers, all swaying and bouncing and cheering and singing EVERY single lyric all at once? All whilst smiling like the music is being injected directly into their happiness cortex? That's what it was like that night. You can even see the goof in the fedora that I talked about earlier.

Fun, fun, fun. That's what it was all about, and that's what it was only about that night.

I hope all of you have the same experience when listening to Alright, Still that I did - I hope that you just have fun with it.

Ai! Ai! Air Force!

Juelz's preschool lyrics + banger beat from Just Blaze + NBA's finest = another heater commercial from Nike.



I really need to be a rapper. They get to do all the cool shit.



Nike has some of the best ad campaigns ever. EVER.

Yeah, this is ill, and The LeBrons is sick too...but how about some Lil' Penny? Do you remember the Fun Police? Fuck that, how about Charleszilla?!

Yeah, take that, "sneakerheads". Until you've got some knowledge about Iceman Gervin, Michael Cooper, Moses Malone and the rest of the OG Air Force, don't bother.

"...as it turns out, I am genetically predisposed to liking chicken..."

I'll let you make your own inferences.

But does chicken usually go on sale around Labor Day or Presidents' Day too?

Day 6.

After Day Six, the Chinese will have to be placed on the endangered species list.

I pick Florida.

VS.



Partly because alligators (and underdogs) are inherently badass, partly because I don't know what the fuck a "buckeye" is, but mainly because I want a BCS playoff system.

I'm no expert or anything, but I think a Florida win will help.

8PM Eastern, 5PM Pacific, Fox.

Yay for sweaty dudes in tight pants running into each other and clandestine sports/university traditions.

I FORGOT.

Ugh. I hate it when I forget about dope shit like that.

By the way, Mickey Avalon is the new Lily Allen. Check it:




Check the 'Space too. 'So Rich So Pretty' and 'Mr. Right' are exceptional as well.


Don't get it twisted though...2007 WILL BE the year of Lily Allen. Remember to pick up a copy of the release on January 30th. Even though you've already downloaded the whole thing and sent it to your friends.