Internet trends and weirdness, consolidated.
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Thursday, May 31, 2007
Get Your Learn On.
I remember at lunch a few years ago, a few of my friends were debating on what they should label my "style". They settled on "hipster".
I was incensed for the rest of the day.
But really, I guess I can't blame them for being unaware of the differences between scenes. And only a pretentious shit like me would care that I had been mislabeled.
But yourscenesucks.com is a good Cliff's Notes type deal about the asshats that populate the scenes that I frequent and observe. Take note before you label an emo kid as a scenester, they might go sit in a corner and cry.
The descriptions aren't entirely accurate and it's definitely not a comprehensive list, but it's hard to put a label on everyone mainly because we're all a bunch of insecure knobwafflers who try our hardest to defy any sort of categorization.
We're different. Just like everyone else.
P.S. I actually like to fancy myself as somewhere between the Williamsburg hipster, bro, and lumberjack. Get familiar.
I Swear That This Still Isn't The Lily Allen Blog, But Lily Allen Is Insane
...because she apparently thinks she's fat.
Or she just freaked out last week(ish), blogged about it on her MySpace, and, well, came off sounding decidedly un-Lily-esque.
You've heard the album, she's supposed to not give a shit about that kind of noise. Which made me kind of wonder what the hell she was doing fretting over a nonexistent weight issue.
But she's made amends, and was pretty much her old self again in this interview, held about a week after her post:
Check at around the 1:35 mark for the Fergie impression. It's pretty brilliant - dead fucking on.
And holy shit, uppers to Lil for still being able to promote Smile without fellating a gun. Drop LDN stateside as a single already!
More news:
Bonde do Role and Plan B are getting spins on MTV. No videos though - just little placeholder snippets that MTV uses late late late at night in between videos.
I'm guessing that MTV is feeling like they're being left in the dust, with blogs having usurped the tastemaking role that MTV's had for, oh, the past two decades - so instead of taking the time to actually break good bands on a decent show (c'mon, really, is one hour a week too much to ask?), they'll just insert tiny soundbites of bloggerdom darlings in between videos to get some cred. Nice move. Assholes.
But while I do have love for Bonde do Role and the handful of other baile/funk/post-punk/electronica/reggae/non-English/insane outfits out there, please believe I'm still waiting on my girl M.I.A. to bring it for real.
She's been missing in action for awhile (I made another funny! HA) but dropped Bird Flu a few months back and she's been keeping everyone on their toes since.
M.I.A. - Bird Flu
But the first official track off the new album (KALA) is gonna be Boyz, check it:
M.I.A. - Boyz
Watch out when KALA drops in August - expect more Diplo on the boards (CHEA), but she's also bringing Timbaland (she was also on a cut from his Shock Value), Danjahandz, and 3-6 in for prodo and guest spots.
Oh, and please please please cop Arular if you've never given M.I.A. a whirl. Your ass will start to move. Involuntarily, probably. Also, it's pretty much one of the best albums ever recorded. Seriously.
And because I feel like I need to close things on a happy note, fuck Idol, fuck Daughtry, I still haven't heard the new Linkin Park, fuck that Maroon 5 joint still pwning me, fuck Rihanna for looking so good but putting out such a gawdawful new single, I still haven't bought Pipettes tickets, fuck Carrie Underwood (not really, she's kind of ok), I'm STILL listening to Bang Camaro, fuck Buckcherry and The Almost and Boys Like Girls, and a big motherfucking FUCK YOU to my fucking iPod adapter charger thingy for being lost.
...and at this rate, I probably never will. It pwn3d the box office though, something like $150 mil+ on opening weekend.
But Pirates is coming out, all my friends have already seen Spidey, I'm broke and I need to scoop some new New Eras...the outlook on my seeing Spider-Man 3 in theatres is looking pretty bleak.
But I don't care.
THIS is coming out.
Transformers. Keep your ears open at around the 1:39 mark - trust me.
When details on the movie started to leak about a year or so back, I wanted to find Michael Bay and burn him alive for shitting on my childhood. Live action? Prime as a snub-nosed rig with flames? Shia Lebouf and Bernie Mac?
It's like the time in the original animated Transformers: The Movie when you saw Hot Rod get the Matrix of Leadership and you cried because Hot Rod was pretty much a retardotron.
But really, I've warmed up to this thing. It's gigantic alien robots trying to tear each other's heads off. Ironhide looks particularly badass. Lots of stuff blows up. Megan Fox is in it.
Spidey was disappointing, Pirates is ultimately a chick flick, and I can't think of any other movies worth getting my geek on for. Transformers wins by default. But also because it's shaping up to be all sorts of awesome.
P.S. This doesn't excuse the fact that Megatron looks like a rolled up ball of foil.
Linkin Park's Minutes to Midnight released yesterday.
As far as mainstream commercial rock goes, this news is fairly insignificant. The early 2000's largest selling rock band comes back after a long hiatus with a new album.
:shrug:
But I think listening to it will be a fairly interesting exercise for me.
I was weaned on classic rock, and it's still my first love. But LP was one of the first moderns bands that I started to really follow with a passion - I'm actually a bit of a late bloomer in terms of the progression of my musical tastes. My dad not allowing me to fiddle with the radio stations until i was like 15 may also have some effect.
But I think my tastes, and the tastes of the general music consumer, have changed a lot since LP released Hybrid Theory a few years ago.
Rap-rock is dead. Nu metal is the butt of music industry jokes. Linkin Park represented the biggest of both.
So I wonder, can I listen to the new album with an unbiased ear? Will I like them just because I used to like them? Or will I write them off because I know that I'm supposed to write them off, what with me being on my musical high horse and all?
Like I said, an interesting exercise.
The first single:
Linkin Park - "What I've Done"
For what it's worth, I enjoyed it more than when I first heard Somewhere I Belong for the first time.
Last night was the finale of Miami Ink, arguably one of the more entertaining reality series on TV. It's pretty formulaic though, and thus tends to get boring when you watch their 6 hour blocks or whatever on Monday nights - one customer for each artist, some stupid sap story to go with each tat, and some shop antics/pranks/drama for good measure.
Truth be told, Chris Garver and Kat Von D are the only artists worth their salt in that shop. The other guys are decent, but only when you consider their primary clientele - Miami beachgoers.
Cliff's: Kat got into it with the Teutels at Orange County Choppers (of American Chopper fame, a show I used to like a lot), claims that doing an armband would be too elementary for her, and Ami called her out. Actually, he threw her out. Her MySpace says that she decided to leave. Whatever.
But that's right - Kat's done with Miami Ink.
She's actually based in L.A., flying out to Miami just for the filming of the show.
Why do I care?
1) Because Kat Von D is radzilla.
2) Because now they're making L.A. Ink at her shop, High Voltage Tattoo.
Now I'm not saying that Kat going diva on Ami and the other dudes is completely acceptable, but I'm only in it for the badass tats and badasser stories.
Too bad I don't have enough milk money saved for even a drop of ink. Not to mention that Kat's waiting list is months deep.
Amy Winehouse is getting crazy spins everywhere you go. No complaints here, she's basically made the jazz-drenched pop album that Christina Aguilera wishes she had the balls to make. You've already heard "Rehab" and "You Know I'm No Good" so I'll use the new joint instead. And I don't know what she's on about, but black is always the new black.
Amy Winehouse - Back to Black ::Krizia says that Winey was piss drunk while performing last week. I only made it in time for the Klaxons, but I'm still kicking myself for sleeeeeeeppppping on tickets. Sorry Cas.::
Speaking of Britpop artists stealing cues from 60's girl groups, The Pipettes dominate me.
The Pipettes - Pull Shapes
The Pipettes - ABC
The Pipettes - Judy
Adorable. Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me EP should already be out, and We Are The Pipettes album should be out stateside near the end of summer (been out since last June in the UK). And they're going on tour - I'll see you there, either at the Troub or Popscene.
It's a shame that American audiences are completely infatuated with bands attempting to emulate the English garage rock formula/sound, because A) No one does garage rock better than American bands and B) THE ARCTIC MONKEYS DON'T SOUND ANY DIFFERENT FROM THE KLAXONS (who, I hear, are supposed to be this year's Arctic Monkeys).
But this is a retro music thread. I'll get on with it.
Retro garage rock (that should contain eagles and whiskey and hookers. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH)(Also, Josh Homme and Dave Grohl are whores - Josh is easy to spot, Dave not so much)
Eagles of Death Metal - I Want You So Hard (Boy's Bad News)
Retro new wave
The Sounds - Tony the Beat (Push It)
Retro disco
Scissor Sisters (with Ana Matronix on vox) - Kiss You Off
I'm pretty sure I've posted it at one point or another, and I know for sure that it's played to death across the pond, but the first single off Ta-Dah! is a goddamned masterpiece.
Scissor Sisters (this time with Jake Shears up front) - I Don't Feel Like Dancing
Retro hard rock (Bon Scott would be proud. Shit, so would tha Crue.)
Damone - What We Came Here For
And one of my personal favorites of late, retro glam metal. (Sound quality gets significantly better around the 40 second mark)
Bang Camaro - Swallow the Razor (live)
Bang Camaro. You heard it here first. I nearly shat my pants when I saw that the song was unlockable on Guitar Hero. They released Push, Push (Lady Lightning) in June of 06 (if I remember correctly) and are everything you love about 80's glam metal, minus the parts that blow. No pussy lyrics, just a few choruses about pussy. And whiskey. And rock. And enough guitar solo to melt your face off, melt your genitals off, melt every part of the human anatomy off the skeleton. It's that good. And yeah, they've got a power ballad. It's called The Ballad. Bloody genius, I swear.
They also have 20 lead singers. Twenty.
In the words of my brothers Camaro, "Let it burn and let it ride - ROCK AND ROLL WILL NEVER DIE".
